Biopsy Day

My dear friend Ruth picked me up early & we first stopped in to the Dalton Clinic for my treatment which takes about an hour.  Then we took off for the gateway building.  After a few false leads, we finally got there.  That place is like a maze.  Every time I need something else done it is in a different part of the maze.  I’m getting better, but I doubt I’ll ever really learn my way around.  They keep renovating and I keep forgetting to bring a bag of bread crumbs.

We finally got to the right place and checked in.  Apparently they didn’t really have many beds available in the radiology unit so I got to go up to a private room on another floor.  Go me! 

I got undressed and put on the  oh so fashionable hospital wear designed to flash the world your hiney. The nurse came in and gave me an IV, my favorite thing in the whole world!  Then they wheeled me down to a very big room with cabinets lining one wall and a sonogram machine in the middle.  Sorry Brian, the cabinets were locked and I was on a table.  Maybe next time.

I should probably describe where this naughty lymph node is located.  It is just inside of the left leg where it attaches to the torso, you know where I’m talking about, the left side of my privates.  This is the most action that area has seen well, ever.  There were 2 doctors, 2 nurses & a resident staring at my privates.  It was unnerving.

The nurses were really nice and we got started and I got prepped.  Carol gave me a lovely cocktail so I wouldn’t feel anything but I was awake the whole time.  Your eyes go wonky for about 30 seconds then everything evened out.  My nurses used the sonogram machine to find the right lymph node.  That took a few minutes as the machine had clarity issues.  They got that ironed out and took a few pictures.  Then the doctors came in and I got to see the gargantuan needle they were going to use.  This needle was significantly larger than the one Daddy uses to inoculate the cattle.  They actually had to slice a little to get the needle in as this was just a guide for the needle that they would use to take the tissue.  They used the sonogram machine so they could see where they were aiming.  It was kind of cool to watch.  Thank heaven I couldn’t feel anything!  It took a few tries to get it aimed properly.  I'm pretty sure the bruise is going to be impressive.  Then they pulled out the needle which would take the tissue, it wasn’t small either.  Damn it took a long time for that needle to go in.  They said there would be a pop as it got through the lymph node.  Apparently the little buggers are kind of tough, they really had to push.  I thought they would come out my leg.

They pulled the needle out, & put the tissue on a slide for the pathology Doctor to check.  She gave them the thumbs up and we were done.  This was easy, I’d be home soon – Not!

Apparently you are not allowed to stand up for 4 hours after this kind of procedure because it takes that long for things to start healing properly.  They want you to have a nice start before you leave the hospital.  They didn’t tell me this until I ate the lovely lunch and drank the fluids they gave me.  Then I needed to use the toilet.  They brought a bed pan.  Oh the humiliation.  It isn’t easy trying to relax enough to urinate in a bowl while sitting on a bed.  I spent my life thinking urinating in a bed just wasn’t acceptable.  Now they were asking me to pee in a bowl, in a bed.  It just wasn’t natural!  This goes against everything I’ve been taught.  It was creepy.  I apologized profusely to the nurse who took the bed pan.  She laughed and said this was nothing.  Well, I still thought it was humiliating.  But then, what do I know?

As soon as I was allowed to get up and dressed, I excused myself to the restroom.  Ah the relief!

Thank heaven for Ruth and her patience.  She sat with her kindle and waited all day for me.  She is a wonderful friend.

Today is my day to recover.  I’m not allowed to lift anything heavy.  I thought a little lounging with a book, then some light cleaning and then to finish packing for my girls weekend in DC.  I do need to go fill a scrip this afternoon, but first a nap.

CT Scan Update

I got a call from my nurse yesterday afternoon.  Apparently someone played where's Waldo with my scan.  They found 1 lymph node which is marginally larger than my scan from January.  Since it was noted, I will need to have a biopsy.  I'm not sure when this proceedure will be, which node it is, or what will be involved.  I thought I'd get a call today, but they are busy folks and will get to me when they can, I hope.

I can only assume that since all of the trees in the Richmond area are procreating like rabbits, that this is due to one of the maryiad of allergens I react to.  If I were a betting woman, I'd say it was the slippery elm tree.  I have, however learned that betting is best left to those with money to lose.  It could also be related to the sore throat I've been battling for a week.  Either way, it is still better to be safe than sorry so I can't complain over much.

On a delightful note, I got to eat the first asparagus from my garden for breakfast this morning.  I don't think I have ever had better!  I hope to have a bumper crop to enjoy.  The peas & spinach are also up.  I planted garlic last year and it is beautiful.  I love having a garden!

Drizzling Shit

So, I had a delightful weekend reading an entire book, and watching a rugby match with my best dog, Abby. Sunday I got to hang with my best buddy, Mary, for a small early birthday celebration. We got our girls weekend planned & train tickets purchased.  Yay!

Work today was productive after a rough start - I did not want to drag my sorry butt out of bed. After hitting the snooze button more times than I can remember, I finally got up to go to work. Abby was also moving somewhat slowly this morning. Yeah, we were rebels this weekend & feeling it this morning. 

I made it in for treatment, have I said I love my nurses yet? Yeah, they are awesome.  No new jokes to report however. 

After treatment, I trekked across the hospital to get my CT scan.  I even managed to not get too lost.  After checking in, I drank 2 jugs of a really nasty barium solution & worked on knitting my hat while I waited.

Have you ever had a CT scan? No? Well, it is a trip! You can't eat for 4 hours prior to your scan. You can drink clear fluids though so it isn't all bad.  Vodka is a clear fluid btw.  

I got to sit in the waiting room listening to some guy belittle the woman who checked us in about how he had already had to cancel an appointment because he isn't supposed to have to pay anything for his scan & that they screwed it up, again.  What a douche!  He claimed that he spoke with someone about his scan and they said it was free.  When in hell is a scan ever free? After droning on and on for about 15 minutes, he finally walked out. I small part of me wanted to go up and let him know that he was being rude, but I just sat there, like a lump, in horror.  It was like watching a train wreck.  I did go up to her later and apologized for his rudeness.  I really didn't think she deserved that kind of treatment.  I thought she was really nice.

After drinking my bottles of yucky stuff, they called me back, & gave me an IV. Then I got to ride the CT machine. This is so much fun! If you've never ridden one, you have to do it soon.  When they tell you to hold your breath, or hold your breath & not swallow, then forget to let you know when you can breathe again, that is so awesome. It gets even better when they push the contrast which makes you feel like you've just urinated in your panties. Now, how awesome does that sound?  Makes you want to go schedule a scan for tomorrow, doesn’t it?

Then after your scan, you are making the trek across the hospital only to find that some of your breadcrumbs have been eaten by very hungry birds. You get lost & you are beginning to feel a little gassy, but it isn't really gas & you have to go find a bathroom so you can clean up & toss your panties in the trash because they are not going in your bag. Sounds great, right?

After you get all cleaned up, you find out that the valet parking guys are gone.  Well, you'll have to walk back to another building to get the car back.  In the mean time you have to stop at the ladies room, again.  

Is there a Silver Lining?  Well, I got a lot of steps in & I’m pretty sure my bowels are now clean as a whistle.

I know you want one now, don't you?

Update:
After getting home and spending the better part of the night in the bathroom I've decided that the only way to adequately describe these occurrances is, "Shit Happens!"  All you can do is roll with the punches & hope there isn't too big a mess to clean up. 

Another possible side effect to add to my list: TMJ!  Oh boy!