Drizzling Shit

So, I had a delightful weekend reading an entire book, and watching a rugby match with my best dog, Abby. Sunday I got to hang with my best buddy, Mary, for a small early birthday celebration. We got our girls weekend planned & train tickets purchased.  Yay!

Work today was productive after a rough start - I did not want to drag my sorry butt out of bed. After hitting the snooze button more times than I can remember, I finally got up to go to work. Abby was also moving somewhat slowly this morning. Yeah, we were rebels this weekend & feeling it this morning. 

I made it in for treatment, have I said I love my nurses yet? Yeah, they are awesome.  No new jokes to report however. 

After treatment, I trekked across the hospital to get my CT scan.  I even managed to not get too lost.  After checking in, I drank 2 jugs of a really nasty barium solution & worked on knitting my hat while I waited.

Have you ever had a CT scan? No? Well, it is a trip! You can't eat for 4 hours prior to your scan. You can drink clear fluids though so it isn't all bad.  Vodka is a clear fluid btw.  

I got to sit in the waiting room listening to some guy belittle the woman who checked us in about how he had already had to cancel an appointment because he isn't supposed to have to pay anything for his scan & that they screwed it up, again.  What a douche!  He claimed that he spoke with someone about his scan and they said it was free.  When in hell is a scan ever free? After droning on and on for about 15 minutes, he finally walked out. I small part of me wanted to go up and let him know that he was being rude, but I just sat there, like a lump, in horror.  It was like watching a train wreck.  I did go up to her later and apologized for his rudeness.  I really didn't think she deserved that kind of treatment.  I thought she was really nice.

After drinking my bottles of yucky stuff, they called me back, & gave me an IV. Then I got to ride the CT machine. This is so much fun! If you've never ridden one, you have to do it soon.  When they tell you to hold your breath, or hold your breath & not swallow, then forget to let you know when you can breathe again, that is so awesome. It gets even better when they push the contrast which makes you feel like you've just urinated in your panties. Now, how awesome does that sound?  Makes you want to go schedule a scan for tomorrow, doesn’t it?

Then after your scan, you are making the trek across the hospital only to find that some of your breadcrumbs have been eaten by very hungry birds. You get lost & you are beginning to feel a little gassy, but it isn't really gas & you have to go find a bathroom so you can clean up & toss your panties in the trash because they are not going in your bag. Sounds great, right?

After you get all cleaned up, you find out that the valet parking guys are gone.  Well, you'll have to walk back to another building to get the car back.  In the mean time you have to stop at the ladies room, again.  

Is there a Silver Lining?  Well, I got a lot of steps in & I’m pretty sure my bowels are now clean as a whistle.

I know you want one now, don't you?

Update:
After getting home and spending the better part of the night in the bathroom I've decided that the only way to adequately describe these occurrances is, "Shit Happens!"  All you can do is roll with the punches & hope there isn't too big a mess to clean up. 

Another possible side effect to add to my list: TMJ!  Oh boy!